Hi, my name is harvey
Grade: 6
Best Holiday: Queensland
Birth Month: October
Career Goals: mechanic
Favorite Band(s): green day
Favorite Lolly: snakes
Favorite Food: burgers
Favorite Munchie: chips
Favorite soft drink: creaming soda
Favorite Subject: sport
Hobbies/Sports: driving my ute
Pet Peeve: foxes
Pets: 9 dogs, 2 horses and five ferrets
Siblings: 1 sister

climbing mount everest
It’s hot! I yell I am practicing in glass cube with not much air on a treadmill. It has hardly any air because I am trying to get used to high altitude. "Harvey!" It’s my coach. “Why are you training over time!?” “Because I want to be the best climber”. He left me after a couple of hours I was looking like a steam train. So went home feed the cows and thought about climbing mount Everest In a week then I went sleep I dreamed that when I was climbing I fell into the and rose to the sky. At training I was very scared about Everest in a week because what dreamed about last night I spoke to my coach about it he said that the risk of falling of a mountain is about as risk as getting struck by lighting. Those made me fill a whole lot better until I saw the news someone had fallen of the mount and died. I wasn’t that confident the next training saying I did not wont to go. But the coach sat me down and said that the only reason that bloke fell of is because he was pushed of by a white gorilla. But it has been captured now. one week later….. “Yes!” Mount Everest here I come. When I get to the last training the coach says that its going to be tough work but we have to tough it out. What i am really look ford to is if get up The top first. First the long trip there we head to Sydney to catch a plane to the Himalayas. When we get there the coach says to go for a run while he waits’ for the sharper tensing no gay. When he came we set of he new the mountain like the back of his hand. When we got a quarter up we camped the night. The next day we set to reach the half way mark. We reached thick forest where that bloke got pushed of the cliff. I was walking though the trees when I saw a monster griller I was stunned as a shot at fox. When we reached the summit I was relieved to reach it because the trip home was down hill.

SMS Group 3
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)
--The plot is original, we guess.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?
--We didn't quite understand the story, other than that it was about climbing Mt. Everest.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?


4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?




0kiwifruit0

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)
The plot is interesting and original
2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?
I think the problem was he was scared to climb mount Everest.
3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?
I think the main character is Harvey and he wanted to climb mount Everest.
4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story?
Pictures could help to see the story more but it's kinda hard to find pictures of an imaginery story.
5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?
I think the you should fix your grammer in your story.


1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)
It isnt 100% completely original: it reminded me a lot of the Everest Trilogy by Gordon Korman.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?
There was a problem and ending and all, but it was very quickly done.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?
Yes you could see that he was scared when he was scared and happy when he was happy.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story?
There isnt too many of them but the ones that there are do help.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?
It just needs to have more time put into it and it would be better than great.

1. Punctuation, grammar, word choice.
It was fairly well done.


1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not?
Yes this story should live on.

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why.
Although the characters were identical to those made by Gordon Korman, and the plot was adapted from that stroy, the story WAS good and is worthy of living.

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories.
Well, it depends on how good all the other people's stories are.




Saint Michael School

1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not?

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why.

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories.