Grade: 7-A
Best Vacation: When I went to Florida for my first time
Birth Month: June 29, 1995
Career Goals: Marine Trainer
Favorite Band(s): Headstrong
Favorite Candy: Kit Kat
Favorite Food: Salad
Favorite Munchie: Popcorn
Favorite Soda: Coca cola
Favorite Subject: Science
Hobbies/Sports: Tennis/Video Games
Pet Peeve: When teachers punishes my class for something one student did.
Pets: none
Siblings: none
Other things you should know about me... I'm kind and I LOVE dogs.


A Boy with a Magical Toy

There once was boy who had toys. He liked playing with them. When he had friends over. He played with Yoshi, who was a friendly, loving, green dinosaur. They became best friends and always played with each other. So, after he came home from school and did his homework, he played with him for another time. He did this for a couple of weeks now. Yet, one day came back from school, he wanted to play with Yoshi, but he didn’t move, and he felt really sad. The next couple of weeks this happened, then he one day went on vacation during Spring break and came back home. His friend Yoshi was…GONE! Now he was really sad. Now he was miserable and sad for the rest of his life. In a week or two he found another one. He hoped it would come to life when he was by himself. Yet, it did, and he was very, very happy. He played with him everyday and brought Yoshi with him everywhere he went. A year passed and Yoshi didn’t stop moving and he kept playing with him. Instead of being sad he is happier than ever.



Peer Response:



Starting May 1st (2008):riderfan
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) No Not Really,it is about an imaganiary toy who came to life.yes it is very creative.i wonder how they got the idea about this story.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? They could have gave yoshi a different name.The climax is very original.I thik yoshis name should have been frank:);)

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?No it does not have really characters execpt for the little boy who haa lots of toys.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story?Kinda you get a little picture but then you get confused there wasn;t enough detail about the boy and yoshi.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?the only place that needs improveing is the ending.