HA-Katie

G’day, my name is Katie Grade: 6 Best Vacation: Christmas Birth Month: February Career Goals: To be a vet then travel the world Favourite Band(s): Kiss Chasey Favourite lolly: Sherbet wizz fizzs Favourite Food: Chocolate cake Favourite Munchies: Chocolate Favourite soft drink: Creamy soda Favourite Subject’s: Sport, art and ICT Hobbies/Sports: Playing with the animals, playing cricket, horse riding and playing on my Nintendo DS Pet Peeve: Asking questions over and over Pets: Ruby a black and white dog, Cat a ginger cat, Leo a white and black cat, Basil a white and yellow cockatoo, Buzz a grey white yellow and orang cockatiel Siblings: An older brother called Daniel his 14

How much worse can the day get? I fell out of bed now I have a stiff neck. I walk out of my room and go have a shower “Oh know” theirs know hot water left. When I get out of the shower I look around theirs no towels left So I have to run to my room naked. I can’t get dressed because I’ve got no clean bottoms so I wear I PJ pants that look like trackys that look like pants. I walk out into the kitchen to get breakfast. I’m thinking to my self I really don’t want the day to get any worse. I walk to the bus stop and wait there for a while. When I get to work I look at my watch I’m late again I try to walk past the bosses Office casually. “Kelly come here please” said Mr Orlando. “Kelly this is your seventh time this week” before anything I say “oh please Mr Orlando give me another chance”. “I’ve given you heaps of chances but I suppose I can give you one more chance and one more chance only”. I go out to my computer and start working before long my arch rival comes up and turns off my computer and I didn’t save anything. I turn my head slowly and start screaming at her saying “Why did you turn of my computer I cant believe you!”. In know time at all Mr Orlando comes “What are you doing Jane?”. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'">“She…she turned off my computer its not my fault”. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'">“I told you you’ve got one more chance now you have blown it YOUR FIRED!” <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'"> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'">Before anything I start crying. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'">Mr Orlando walks into his office and comes back out and drops a box on the floor in front of me I say “ what… whats that for”. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'"> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'">"Its for you to put all your stuff in”. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'">When I’m walking down the street I think again 'can <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'">the night or day get any worse?' Its about night time and I’m walking down the street <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'">and a truck comes and I get soaked. <span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'">When I get home I think I should go to bed so nothing else happens.

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) Yes, the plot is original. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? yes, there is enough interest in the story. Yes there is a climax that satisfy me. yes it is. nothing can be added or changed. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? yes there kind of life like. yes there characters enjoyable. yes we get a good sense of there characters. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? yes they do because the story is very life-like. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? the climax needed the most improvement.

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)

Your story is basically original but it didn’t interest me.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

Your stories problem really didn’t interest me at all.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

Your Character really isn’t very life like at all. You didn’t tell me very much at all about your characters.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you // see // and // hear // and // experience // the story? There was no imagery at all.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? Grammar and imagery is really all you need to work on.

Saint Michael School
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not? No, I wouldn't, the story was not very original.

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why. The story was good in the way that it was written but the plot and story are not original

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories.