LMS+Group+3



Nathan: 1. I'm terribly hyper when i get sugar. 2. I like to travel all over the place even though i only went to one place. 3. I like eating because it would probably my favorite thing to do....but I'm not fat ok!!!! Kentaro: I like to travel around the world. Brynne: 1. I like vampires... 2. I spend my life either terribly gloomy (when I'm lonely) or incredibly cheerful (when I'm with good friends). 3. I enjoy writing poetry. (I might have already said that.) 4. I'm finding myself wanting to go on rambling random facts about my life (I think I'm looking for something to do), but I'll stop here. >_< Derick 1. I am hyper 2. I like ducks a lot! they are awesome!
 * Grade:** All in 6th grade
 * Best Vacation:** Nathan: Hawaii,Kentaro: Trip to Canada, Brynne: Catalina Island, Derick: Oregon
 * Birth Month:** Nathan:October, Kentaro: November, Brynne: January, Derick: February
 * Career Goals:** Nathan:Robotic Engineer, Kentaro: I don't know!!, Brynne: I dunno, Derick: IDK
 * Favorite Band(s)**:Nathan:Kanye west, Kentaro: Puddle of Mudd, Derick:Nightwish, Brynne: NIGHTWISH!!!!!!!!!!!! woot!
 * Favorite Candy**: Nathan:jaw breakers, Kentaro: Snickers (I can't eat now because I have braces on), Brynne: kitkat, Derick:sugar
 * Favorite Food**:Nathan:spam, Kentaro: Japanese food, Brynne: CCHHHEEEERIOOOOSSSSS!!!!!!!, Derick: SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * Favorite Munchies**: Nathan: Crunchy Cheetos, Kentaro: Doritos, Brynne: CHEERIOS... XP, Derick:girl scout cookies
 * Favorite Soda:** Nathan:coke mixed with sprite, Kentaro: Ginger Ale, Brynne: Root beer, Derick:Root Beer
 * Favorite Subject:** Nathan:lunch, Kentaro:math or Social Science, I don't know, Brynne: (wherever my friends are), Derick:Lunch
 * Hobbies/Sports:** Nathan:destroying stuff, Kentaro: listening to musics and reading books, Brynne: Poetry and Wrestling, Derick:Soccer, Swimming, video games
 * Pet Peeve:** Nathan:my sister, Kentaro: annoying person, Brynne: being isolated from friends, Derick:some of my friends and my sister
 * Pets:** Nathan:doggywoggie, Kentaro: NONE!!, Brynne: Loki+Berry (cats), Derick: Frodo the Gecko
 * Siblings:** Nathan:one older sister, Kentaro: two younger (one in elementary, one in preschool), Brynne: none *pout*, Derick:Sister in 2nd grade
 * Other things you should know about me...**

**Draft of Alien Story**
Once there was a little alien who was training to become an invader. He was never the strongest of the group, but his intelligence was hard to match. Young Zork, however, was shunned for more than just his weakness in physical strength. His father was an outcast from the kingdom, and his mother was no more than a convict, accused of murder, who escaped from jail. He was always bullied by another alien who was tryng to be an invader named Zintal. He was the son of their king. He was very spoiled by his parents and by his servants, and the Prince Zintal of the aliens also whined a lot. And now here he was, getting poor Zork in trouble once again.

"Zork! What are you doing?" screeched the prince in mock horror. The young, thin alien whirled around, shocked. Now what? By the galaxy, it wasn't like he was doing anything wrong. He chose to meet Zintal with a cool, polite attitude, and he smoothly said, "I'm just getting food from the cafeteria after training today. Is that now illegal?" Zintal's red violent eyes gleamed maliciously, "That food was reserved for //me//. Guards, Zork is stealing my food!" The guards stormed to poor Zork and as soon as the guards attacked, he cried and was captured. The prince screamed, "That is what it happens if you take //my// food."

The king was not pleased. "Zork..." he rumbled. "What have you done now to my dear prince... my son? If you answer this instant, it had better be a good answer, and maybe I will let you remain in the kingdom." Zork guiltily examined his shoes. Dark velvet red leather from the fire panthers, with thin, silvery silk binding them tightly. It was expertly, cleverly woven through the cloth. Of course, he wasn't rich. However, as a student of a royal academy, he was given rich clothing and delicacies for food. But he couldn't reside in his thoughts forever. He would always have to come out and face the king in the end. He knew it was no use arguing that he didn't steal the food. It never was. Who would believe someone like him? "I didn't do anything, Your Highness. I promise..." the shame-faced youth looked up at him from his kneeling position. The king was cold-hearted, and he snarled, "No, Zork. I have had enough of this ridiculous attitude." And that was how Zork was banished to planet Earth, the worst place any alien could possibly be.

Galaxies away, on a planet called Earth, there were two young teenagers named Timothy and Rebecca. After they finished studying for the test on the following Monday, his mom yelled, "Timothy, get over here right now!" They exchanged a quick glance, and he gulped. Undoubtedly, his sister was crying again. Instantly, they were dashing out the front door into the crisp autumn air. Sprinting down the icy sidewalk, they ran on, hooting with laughter. Finally, they reached their destination: the desolate, deserted ruins of the shopping center which had burned to the ground. There was nothing left but ashes, and the sad remains of the metal frameworks, blackened with charred soot: a perfect place for their teenage haunt. But as they rounded the corner, they heard a soft scuffling noise. "What was that?" whispered Rebecca, clinging to his forearm. She was pale, shaking, and utterly terrified. "Oh, come on!" Timothy laughed encouragingly. "It was probably just a cat!" A wailing noise filled the cold, evening air as the sky become a dusky purple slowly. "That..." she said in a half-whimpering voice, "was //not// a cat!" Neither one of them had anything more to say, for, at that moment, two purple eyes appeared in the darkness of the shadow of the metal frame that still barely stood. They glowed with a violet flame, and floated up towards them. Neither Timothy nor Rebecca could gather the wits to move. But as they left the darkness and entered the last lights of the dusk, they saw a miserable-looking, crinkly-skinned, long-limbed, short creature who looked absolutely weather-torn. It whimpered and collapsed right in front of them. Rebecca let out a small, pitying cry and knelt down, carefully picking the creature up in her arms. Timothy gasped, "Rebecca, be careful! He- she-... It might... hurt you..." She threw him a scornful glance and hissed through gritted teeth, "But just look at it, Timothy! It's obviously in terribly poor health!" He painfully groaned, "And since when do you care for rare, freaky looking mutants?" Rebecca looked at him with a distressed, half-angry, half-exasperated look, and she pleaded, "Timmy..." He instantly gave up and helped her haul the half-dead creature up to its feet. Then, as they dragged it towards his house, along the block, through the shadows of night, it feebly gave a small moan. Rebecca quickly murmured, "You're okay. Tell me... Who are you?" A flicker of recognition entered its purple eyes as it recognized the language. It whispered hoarsely, "Zork, the Apprentice Warrior, son of Zalisence the Outcast..." before he collapsed back into unconsciousness.

When Zork woke up, he was alone in the room, on a bed. He looked over at the window. The sky was orange and it was beginning to get dark. After a while, Rebecca came in the room and exclaimed, "You are awake! You were sleeping whole day! Did you know what happened? While you were introducing your self, you fainted. I thought you won't wake up, never. By the way, do you want something to eat or drink? I have some pasta left from lunch. Or do you want to have a nice cup of tea?" Zork answered, "I will have a tea." "Do you want sugar, lemon, or perhaps nothing added?" "I will have it with lemon." "All right, nothing to eat? I have bread, crackers, pasta, or pizza? It will take time for the pizza, but it is tasty. It's cheese." Zork answered, "I will just have a piece of bread. Thank you, ah...uh..., what is your name?" "My name is Rebecca. This is my room and the boy you saw with me is my brother, Timothy. He is nice, but until he knows you."

**Peer Response**
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?

Please answer these questions above.

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) It is original in the sense that it was a continuation of the frame story made completely by them.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? The problem certainly added some amount of feeling to it. The climax was somewhat satisfying, but it did put a twist in there.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? Yes, the characters are vivid-ish.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? Yes, they do. They make you use your emotions.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? Maybe just a few more intense descriptive words. 1. Punctuation, grammar, word choice. Overall i thought it was great.

1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not? Yes, i felt that they did a good job.

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why. It was good because they put a lot of work into it and really tried to make a good story.

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories. this could be worthy