HA-Cody

**Grade:6 ** **Best Vacation: Englind year 2002. ** **Career Goals: Become an author. ** **Favorite Lollys: Gummy worms. ** **Favorite Subject: P.E and I.C.T ** **Siblings: Sarah, Tracey and Mark.**
 * Giddy mate, I’m Cody. **
 * Birth Month: May **
 * Favorite Band(s): Green Day, Lee harding. **
 * Favorite Food: Pizza. **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Favorite Munchie: Chicken chips. **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Favorite soft drink: Pepsi and coke. **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Hobbies/Sports: Soccer and Cricket **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Pet Peeve: Tricks. **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Pets: Harry (dog) **

<span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'">

<span style="color: rgb(238, 43, 43)">The attack of..... <span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I’m Trent Clones, also 11 years old. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> ‘Skinny as a fish,’ people at school call me, but I’m not that skinny. I’m one of the most popular people at school as we had to vote for school captains last week. I am the junior boy school captain. I don’t think that I am a good one as I blow most of the school’s money on a v8 Holden. I thought it would be good for students to have driving school in the primaries. I was wrong. Only me who only drives paddock bombs. Now I got detention but I got the car for free. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> The whole story started when my family got invited to a formal dinner at a pub. Mum doesn’t know how she is going to pay but she’ll work it out when we get there. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I jump in the car; my black jacket gets caught in the door. As the car starts moving, I struggle to get it free. After a while I give up. Loads of trucks and cars pass as we turn to onto the highway. Out the window I see a black cord getting caught on a black car. And now it’s on our car. I worry. A few minutes later nothing has happened. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> “Does anybody? What? **Trent, what happened to your jacket?”** <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I look down, spotting the last of the cord go out the door. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> “I-I” I’m stuck for words. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> “He forgot it.” My sister Amy covers for me. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> Dad turns the car around, the wheels picking up the rocks hitting the side of the car. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I wish I had a camera, his face is steaming like a steam train choc full of rocks. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> Once we get home I run in side to get my jacket. I fly into my room, grabbing the black jacket. I pull it. It won’t budge. There’s something wrong! <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> =<span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'"><span style="color: rgb(54, 95, 145)">Chapter 2. = <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I tug on the jacket, hoping it’ll come free. It doesn’t. I reach for the coat hanger. A small dark figure appears from behind the hanger. I fall back, knocking my head. I feel blood trickle down my back, down onto my neck. My blood goes cold like the world has stopped. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I fight the freezing sensation and walk into the kitchen. I poor the cold water from the fridge into a cup. I drink a mouth full but through the rest I tip over my face. I stare out the kitchen window for a while, forgetting that mum and the rest of the family are in the car. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I walk back into the room, less frightening than before, thinking about smashing the little beast to apple juice. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> =<span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'"><span style="color: rgb(54, 95, 145)">Chapter 3. = <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I grab the broom, take it into my room and search for the thing. I look through the cupboard poking the clothes. Not there, I search the room cursing that I didn’t close the door. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I hear Amy and mum yelling, not dad. I guess he is too grumpy to yell. Or maybe he has gone in to look for me. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> Anyway, I start walking back, closing the door behind me so He won’t go and search the house. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> Once out of the house I run as fast as I can towards the car. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I hop into the back seat of the car, realising that they had change to a slightly faster car than the other one. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I stare at the dull boring sky. Everybody is properly annoyed about how I left my jacket at home (as Amy said) and took forever to get it back. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> The trip takes forever again. I reckon this is going to be a very, very long night. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I open my door quickly and walk over to dads and open it for him. It is worth trying to get out of trouble even if it doesn’t work. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I was first in the pub; I look around, looking for grandma and the rest of the family I knew so well. Nobody there, just empty tables and bright blue walls. Dad led us over to the posh part of the Pub. There are no blue walls here. It’s dark red with lit candles. Right in the middle is nana, poppa, and old grandma. The expression that was on her face wasn’t pleasing. It was bright red just like dad when he goes that red when anger. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> We all go to the deserted area of the table as there is no spots up the main end where the garlic bread laid. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I sit back, my scab pressed against the back of the chair. I don’t won’t want mum to see it as I’ll get in deep trouble for not telling her. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> Everybody is sad, I can see that dad is pretty annoyed as he is usually the centre of attention and I see him trying to join a farm conversation. He doesn’t as he doesn’t know anything about farming. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I feel sorry for dad, He was looking forward to this and I wrecked it for him. it’s my entire fault! <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> =<span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'"><span style="color: rgb(54, 95, 145)">Chapter 4. = <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> The car screeches to a stop as mum pulls into the driveway after a long night out. It’s really late and I’m not going to sleep till I find that monster. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> My room feels so dark and spooky. As I open the door, I search the wall for the light switch. I can’t find it as I get a shock. I pull my arm away holding it with the other. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> No light switch, late at dark, this is like a night mare that I had when I was little. I go and find a torch but soon remember that it is in my room as we had a sleepover the other night. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I soon remember that mum has one in her room. I go and grab it. I shine it around the room hoping it’ll just come out. It doesn’t. I walk up to the cupboard, and swing open the door. A few moth balls and marbles hit the soft carpeted floor. There are rips in my jeans, and marks on my T shirts. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> But I don’t see It. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> =<span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'"><span style="color: rgb(54, 95, 145)">Chapter 5. = <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I spot some thing at the bottom in my shoe; I grab the shoe and throw it at the wall. A small snake appears. I grab it and strangle it to death. Oh no, that is my sisters pet snake, it must of got out. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I run to the lounge room. Mum and dad are sitting on the couch watching? I don’t know as they quickly switch it off. I signal them to come as they groan and try and argue but they have no choice. I show them the snake and their faces go worse than dads in the car. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> The 100 dollar snake is dead and I am the one who did it. I don’t know how much trouble I’m getting in and it was all common sense. If you think there is a monster you go and kill it, even if it’s your sister’s favourite snake. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I see behind the grumpy faces of mum and dad, my sister Amy. But her face is worse than ever. I guess I need to buy another snake. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> Well that was the end of the horrible, freaky story I hope to forget. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> =<span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'"><span style="color: rgb(54, 95, 145)">The End! =

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) I think the plot was interesting and original.
 * Starting May 1st (2008):** peanut butter & jelly

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? The problems add interest and suspense.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? Maybe you could discribe the characters more.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? while I was reading I could kind of see the experience.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? just the description of the characters.

SMS GROUP 9

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) I think the plot was interesting and original. It was hard to understand at times but i think i figured it out.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? In this story the character faced many problems because his jacket got stuck in the car door and had to go home and change it. things that can be changed or added are they was the explain what is happening or getting read to accure.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? Maybe you could discribe the characters more by the way they look and their behavior.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? while I was reading I could kind of see the experience but then it kept changing because you never got the point across

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? The story is good but you just need to explain more to get to the detail

Saint Michael School
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not? Yes i would.[:

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why.-it has chapter's in it and it has lots of facts in it. =D

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories.-yes I would =)

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