NS-Stephen+R

Hello my name is Stephen from Fredericton, NB, Canada. I spend a lot of my time either online, outside or reading. I like fiction books and expecially the ones by Tad Williams and Terry Brooks. I like swimming and hanging out outside in the summer, and i kinda hibernate in the winter. Hope you like my story.

Grade: 8 Best Vacation: When I was 5 we went to the Rocky Mountains for a few days Birth Month: August Career Goals: I am pretty sure I wanna be an author Favorite Band(s): AC/DC, Bon Jovi Favorite Candy: smarties Favorite Food: Pasta Favorite Munchie: cookies, grapes and apples Favorite Soda: Mountain Dew Favorite Subject: English Hobbies/Sports: Reading, writing - nothing special Pet Peeve: Ill fill this out later i cant think of one Pets: A dog named Lucie and a cat named Fuzzy Siblings: a younger brother

The night was cool and misty. Small rays of moonlight peaked through the window and lighted the room in a faint eerie glow. Laundry, papers and toys littered the floor. And across from the window, beside the door, lay twelve year old Joel Cook from Toronto, Ontario nestled in his blankets, deep in sleep on his mattress dreaming of dreams so vivid at the moment, but that he would not recall the next day, or ever again. The light breathing of Joel and the constant buzz of the appliances and machines downstairs went undisturbed for hours. Until there was a tap on the bedroom window. Then the noise of the creaking of a wooden ladder came from outside the house, below the window. None of this awoke anyone, but they all felt a deathly suspense in there dreams, and which hung around the air they breathed into the sleeping bodies. The creaking went on in a slow pattern, one creak, than after a minute another. Then another and another until it stopped altogether, renewing the near silence of before. But now a shadow loomed at the window, a menacing shadow that would soon haunt the lives and memories of the Cook family. Once the shadowy figure has waited a while, he worked at taking the screen from the window. It took no longer than a few moments, and happened quietly. The shadow then took out an object from his pocket and worked at the window's lock. It soon came loose with a small click, and all was still and quiet yet again. The shadow stood there as if waiting for something. Time passed slowly, aging the night's damp air to become morning dew. Nobody awoke and the near silence of the house stood still as if it was waiting for something as well. The menacing shadow still stood outside the window, still as a statue, solemn as death. Then it moved. The shadow moved his arm towards the window, grabbed the edge and then pulled slowly. The night-time's noises of the Cook family's house were broken by a faint squeaking of glass against window pane. Soon the window was opened, letting in cool air from the outdoors which lightly moistened the room's surfaces. The figure cloaked in shadowy darkness then put one leg after another through the opened window, each one losing its costume of shadow as it passed through. To guess his age or make a fitting description would be nearly impossible, for the man was wearing all black from head to toe, covering all but his eyes, nose, ears and mouth. He stepped onto a wooden table, and was now completely in the room. The man smiled a smug smile, a smile that showed that he knew he had won. His prey was in reach, practically his. He drew a shinning silver object from his pocket and manoeuvred across the room slowly. Each step made him more eager, more excited. More dangerous. The man was now hanging his head over Joel's sleeping form. This was it; this was the pounce that would kill him his prey. He gripped the object in his hand firmly and raised it above the boy's chest. Right above his beating heart. He laughed to himself; beating for now. The hunter was ready to claim his prey; he plunged the knife down, just as Joel Cook awoke. There was a high pitched scream of pure terror that awoke everyone for miles. Then he awoke. The night was cool and misty. Small rays of moonlight peaked through the window and lighted the room in a faint eerie glow. Laundry, papers and toys littered the floor. And across from the window, beside the door, lay twelve year old Joel Cook nestled in his blankets, petrified of the nightmare that had just passed through his wandering mind. The quick paced, frightened breathing of Joel and the constant buzz of the appliances and machines downstairs went undisturbed for hours. Until there was a tap on the bedroom window.

Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) A major YES, The plot was sensational.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? This was a really scary, white knuckled story and i loved it. Yes i loved the ending. At first I was disappointed that it was a dream and then i read the sentence about him hearing the tap at the window and then it got scary again.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? The characters were great even though we didn't get to see the man in black. Your writing was really descriptiive and I loved this story.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? Yes I was scared out of my head.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? NONE it was brilliant.

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) It's pretty original, that they wake up, it's a dream and it's hapenning for real thing.... but overall it was REALLY good. I thought he was very creative.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? There are complications that add enough of those things. Especially suspense and tension. The resolution was very satiflying. You probably won't really need to ask anything.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? The characters are really life like. I love the place where he describes all the characters. They just doesn't have dialouge. Their description is really good...

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? Yes, i did "see" the place. It was pretty vivid to me. You can really think of the place and the person because he describes it very good.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?

No, I don't think he need any improvement. It was really good.