HA-Jayden

Hi, my name is Jayden!!! ** **Birth Month: May ** **Favourite lolly: Jubes ** **Siblings: 1 brother 1 mum 1 dad**
 * 
 * Grade:6 **
 * Best Vacation: Gold coast **
 * Career Goals: Photograph **
 * Favourite Band(s): Bob Sinclair **
 * Favourite Candy: milikyway **
 * Favourite Munchies: Chips **
 * Favourite Soft drink: Pepsi Max **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Favourite Subject: **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Hobbies/Sports: P: E **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Pet Peeve: reading aloud **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Pets: 4 dogs 1 cat **

THE MYTHICAL BOOK ** Okay my name is Jimmy and something incredible is happening, there is a bunch of people standing in my room and I am stuck in the middle of them. But it all stared when we moved house. “I can’t wait” said mum excitedly me on the other hand, “But I don’t want to move” I groaned in the most dire state “I love Townsville” I said “all my friends are here and the hockey grand final is coming up I can’t leave the ducks on such short notice.” this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me this is as more worse as Hitler getting his way. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. “Come on time to go” yelled mum. My sister Bonnie and my dad came out of the house with their friends and started to say there goodbyes. “Jimmy” I heard in the back of my mind but then I realised it was Mark, Jake and Luke and they were holding my book but it had paper on the front. “We’ll miss Jimbo” “miss ya to” I said sadly “Don’t worry” said mum “I’m sure ya’ll keep in touch.” We are now just getting into the car and starting the engine goodbye everyone yelled at the same time and off we went to start a new adventure in Swishten. It has been at least 2¾ of an hour, “mum” I groaned “I really need to go to the toilet when is the next stop” “at the next town” she replied “which is an hour and a half away and it is called Swishten.” We are nearly there and mum is about to explode with excitement. I think we might have to get an umbrella because it looks like it is going to rain or at least have storms. We are finally here it smells like a country town but there is no cattle no paddocks and no farms? “This is great” burst out mum just as I see a huge house that looks like a skinny but really tall church like a haunted house. I get out of the car and the first thing I see is a for sale sign I says “13 bed 7 toilet 1 car space and 11 kitchen SOLD to the Watsens.” “I can’t wait to move in” yelled mum but all I heard was the echo threw the lonely village. “Go in a pick the best room before someone else gets it” it was sudden rush everyone spirited into the house and scattered around but I paused to a sudden stop and look dead ahead and what do you think I saw a clock the size of the Big Ben “WHOA!.” Everyone had there room except me so I went up the steps and looked for one and I thought to my self that this pace is the old folks home back in Townsville. I found a door with the door knob to big for my hand it took to open I got in and looked down to the steps there are only 11 I walk into the room and see that it had a library (only a little one though) a ladder that leads up to an attic and a walk in robe “I CALL THIS ONE!!!” I shouted. It has been day 1 in this house and so far I really like it is heaps better than our old house “how ja sleep” said mum “great it was the best sleep I’d ever had” I replied “and the books in the little library they are very interesting” “speaking of books yours is still in the car” “thanks mum”. I went out side and got my book it is called Myths and legends it is my favourite I started reading it on the way back into our mansion then when I open the door I look at the clock and freeze like a bug inn an ice cube it’s time is 11:59 “ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!” I shout “RU...” then just as I am about to finish my sentence a huge eruption of sound explode DING DONG DING DONG “it’s 12 a clock”, dad sprits in and turns the alarm the sound of an elephant off “//whew//” I said with relief. It is the afternoon and I am exploring the house and I am at the attic looking threw a box of books and I see one that is glowing it’s title is WICHCRAFT AND WIZDRAY “cool” I think in the back of my mind as I open the book and I see that the first word in the book I see is PRESS HERE so I did and a kinda hologram thing appeared “WICKED”. “Greetings” said the hologram “I am Ler wizardry teacher lets begin your first lesson but first I must know your name?” “Um Jimmy” I replied “well Jimmy lets start your first lesson on wizardry” this is crazy I think to myself a talking hologram saying my name and trying to teach me magic, “magic is what witches do.” “//Wha//” This is getting weirder by the minute now he can read my mind “yes I can and that is what I will be teaching you today” he said triumphantly “wow really?” I asked “yes now listen closely let all your feelings go and breathe in and out” he replied in a demanding voice. “Breath steadily threw the nose and out the mouth” what does this have to do with reading minds I think “EVERYTHING!!” he shouts “stop doing that.” It has been and hour since I meet Ler and now I can read minds it is the coolest thing ever “thanks” I say I try to read his mind to see what he is thinking but I can’t, “it is because I don’t actual live I am a talking and learning hologram” he says happily “I never die and I never live” “okay thanks again bye” I say. I walk into the kitchen “hey Jimbo” mum shouts nearly as loud as the clock we got “have a guess of what we are having for dinner” she asked happily and sligtliy quieter only slightly, this a great chance to use my powers “um” I said pretending to be puzzled “meat loaf” “how did you know that” she said suspiciously “it’s all in the nose” I said. I am about to walk into the dining room for our meatloaf and I look at the door I haven’t been in the dinging room yet the doorknob is kinda wired it has a wolf and then the knob is hanging out of it’s mouth I turn the knob and as soon as I opened it a big bucket fell on my head filled with purple paint and spaghetti “Bonnie” I yell at the top of my lungs. We are all sitting down at the table at and I thought it would be a bit of fun to read Bonnie mind she is thinking of dolls TV and Tony Steele back at Townsville and then something fills her mind that I don’t like one bit she is thinking about flinging a pea at me than I see a green thing flying threw the air a pea phew I hear it fly past me I dodge it “wow how did you do that” she asked and demand a answer right now “I don’t know” I said and I actual didn’t. After tea I ran back up to the attic and got the book and stared to read “if you have learnt from Ler and found out that you got a bit of agility that is normal he often has a special bond with stronger students” “What” I said confusingly “he really liked me all along because I am a strong student really?” I asked and waited for the little blue man to pop up but he didn’t. That night I couldn’t sleep very well I thought about how Ler liked me so much but only because I am strong at magic but then another thought crept into my mine the book said **WICHCRAFT** AND WIZDRAY that means I haven’t learnt witchcraft yet I thought so I sneak up stairs to get the book. I’ve finally got the book but something is wrong with it is glowing but there are little sparks flying out of. It is very noisy whe sgrhe rtaw it sounds like the magic that Ler was teaching me I got to my room and notice that I could hear a voice well actually to voices Lers and a kind of grouchy one I opened up the book and my room exploded with colour “cool I say at the top I of my lungs but in a quite version. When the colour clears I see that Ler is using a staff as a wand and is shooting magic out of it the other person I see is a short little lady well at least I think she is she is as ugly as hell it’s self. I look at the little…. //Thing// and I try to read her mind but then it doesn’t work then I remember what Ler said “you can’t read my mind because I don’t live I never live and I never die.” Then it hot me she was the witchcraft teacher she was a witch! “Hey hey hey what is going on here” I asked and expected a answer right now but they didn’t even stop they just kept whizzing spells at each other then Ler said something really wired and a burst of red beams came out of his little short staff and the little grouch so called a witch dodge it super fast like I did and the beam went directly towards the book case and hit my book and then I realised the paper on the front of it said “ sorry about the book we had to take out some pages we left all the gods and monsters again were really sorry about pulling the pages out” “what they wrecked my book on monsters and myths” I yelled this time as loud as I could “what” Ler said as the beam hit the book and suddenly the book started to open and let out a burst of colour only this time little and some big black dots and suddenly they rolled around the floor and they were making some kinda noise then I realised what they were they were monsters from the book. “ARGH” I screamed “MONSTERS” and then another thing came out of the book it was a human but he had no top on and a little rag for pants and another thing on his head it was a red of plats like a Halo then I realised he was Hercules and some other super dudes like Zeus and a dude with lightning that looked familiar the god of lighting. And that is were I am at now sounds pretty bad hey well think how I fell. “Okay okay we can all sort this out u guys are Obviously monsters from before BC and you big mussel half naked guys are obviously gods so we can come to a reason not to kill each other but I would also like the lot of you to get back in the book please” “sorry but we we’ll never rest until these vile monsters are vanquished so the answer is no!” said Heracles “this is bad so very bad” said Ler in a panicky voice and then he diapered into his little book that I wish was the home of all the before monsters and gods “no Ler come back I need your help please come Back” I called but I new he wouldn’t suddenly the monsters started to attack the gods but then I thought about my agility if I think fast I can go fast so I so I can get a rope and tie up the multi headed snake so I run as fast as I can to the attic and get the rope I am already up there some how so I grab the rope and run up and run around the serpent with multiple heads and I tied him up and soon enough he was it was turning purple and then he just fainted and laid there he was dead I can’t believe it he’s dead I just wanted to contain him not kill him. Then all this started cheering “hooray for...” and then there was a sudden pause “Jimbo” I replied with out even knowing what were going to say because I read there mind “HOORAY FOR JIMBO” they cheered but I didn’t want to kill it just contain it “you’re a hero” they yelled suddenly all the beast started to whimper then they all jumped back it to the book “yes” I whispered to myself then so did the heroes what then I relised what was so scary mum was walking to my bedroom she came in sat me on the bed and said “I think it is time we move again”.
 * <span style="color: rgb(240, 81, 81)">

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)
 * Starting May 1st (2008):** ms cree

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?

Saint Michael School
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not? I would let the storyteller live another day because he had wrote a good story.

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why. this story was good, but had poor use of punctuation and capital letters.

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories. no.