mac_10

Grade: 7 Best Vacation: I hate vacations Birth Month: January Career Goals: Join the army Favorite Band(s): The Game Favorite Candy: Gum Favorite Food: Pizza Favorite Munchie: Chips Favorite Soda: Coke Favorite Subject: Art Hobbies/Sports: Skateboarding,Vollyball Pet Peeve: Pets: 1 Siblings: 2 Other things you should know about me...

=Haunted Haultain= One day me and a few of my friends were outside walking around.We were sitting at the school on the benches. We heard a scream come from inside the school.I looked up threw the window and seen a little girl standing their. She was wearing a white dress she had long hair and when i looked at her she looked away and left.

The next day at school i went to where she was standing.Their was nothing their.I wanted to see what was happening.So after school me and some kids from school wanted to find out what that was.So we agreed to meet their at 9:00 pm tonight.

We got their and we seen her threw the window.I grabbed a pocket knife and picked the lock.When i picked the lock we opened the door and the little girl ran. She went up the stairs to the top floor then she went in the closet that has the stairs that go up to the roof.She was up their standing near the edge their was a guy with her he was a ghost too.Then they looked at us and turned away held hands a disappeared.I ran to the ledge and looked off but their was nothing.

I heard the cop cars from far away i said come on lets go.Me and the kids from my class ran we had to hide somewhere and my house was the closest so we ran their.We hid their for a bit until the police left.We thought they would leave faster then they did.They left at 12:00 pm my mom said go to bed.So i told everyone to sneak out in 20 minutes.So we all met by the school and we seen the ghost on the playground this time it was the little girl ghost and the guy that we seen on the top of the school and two more ghosts.

as we walked into the playground the ghosts started to run.We ran after them.These ghosts are really slow it was easy to catch up.We got right behind them and then we looked around we were inside a old house the doors shut behind us.The windows were all boarded up their was no way out.

The ghosts looked at us as their eyes glowed with this bright red light.They started to come towards us.I grabbed a 2 by 4 and tried to break the door open.It was no use the 2 by 4 never did anything it made a few little holes thats about it.I ran to the kitchen to see if their was any knifes and their was one it was a meat cleaver it was really sharp after that i grabbed the 2 gas cans sitting by the door.I put gas everywhere i don't think they would survive when i light it on fire so i went to the stove grabbed a paper towel and lit it up on the stove burner then i threw it at the top of the steps and hacked the door with the knife.I hacked it around the handle so i can just kick the door and it will open then we ran outside the house shot up with flames we ran we all ran to our house's.The next day at school we all just acted like nothing went wrong that night and just lived our lives.

SMS GROUP 4 . Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) The plot is original and creative. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? There are enough complications and the climax is satisfying. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? Most of the characters are life-like and are like able. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see // and //hear // and //experience // the story? Yes, i can hear and experience the story. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? The areas that need the most improvement are the spelling and grammar. = = Rachel -HA . Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see // and //hear // and //experience // the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?

Saint Michael School
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not?

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why.

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories.

