LMSGroup4

1st answer: Chaitanya 2nd answer: Jeremi 3rd answer: Diksha 4rth answer: Gene 5th answer: Rachel

Grade: 6th, 6th, 6th, 6th, 6th Best Vacation: Hawaii, Poland, Disneyland, Beijing, Taiwan Birth Month: December, July, March, March, January Career Goals: Dentist, Paleontologist, Hobo???, Writer, Judge Favorite Band(s): Linkin Park, (none), (none), Green Day, Hellogoodbye Favorite Candy: Lindtt, Kinder, Cadbury, Twix, Snickers Favorite Food: Pizza, Boiled Cowhide??, Spring Rolls, French Fries, Chicken Favorite Munchie: Potato Chips, Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips, Soy Crisps, Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips (LAYS!), BBQ Chips Favorite Soda: Orange Soda, Sprite, Spinach Soda, Sunkist Orange Soda, Coke Favorite Subject: Gym, Science, Language Arts, Language Arts, Social Studies Hobbies/Sports: Basketball, Rock Climbing, Dance, Guitar, Tennis Pet Peeve: Deep Water, Cookies, Technology :(, Math, Math and Science Pets: (none), Two cats and ten fish, her notebooks??, a Labrador Retriever puppy, (none) Siblings: (none), one younger brother, a STUPID younger brother, an older sister, (none) Other things you should know about me.


 * Frame Story**

As the five students stood on the elevator- like platform that carried them up into the belly of the large looming spaceship, their faces all carried nervous expressions. The five sixth-graders were swept up on their by what looked like a stereotypical spaceship. It was classic, complete with glowing buttons and strange contraptions.

"Ugh, how come everything happens to me?....We're all going to die! They're going to experiment on us or something.... like the movies!" Gene said.

"Maybe the aliens are nice and they'll give us candy!" Diksha said optimistically.

"Or maybe, the alien candy will have some strange chemicals that cause our bones to dissolve and we'll be jello people!" said Gene negatively.

Diksha was about to say something obviously optimistic, but Rachel interrupted their argument.

"Ugh! Can you guys, like, shut up! I'm trying to listen to Fergie!" said Rachel, who coincidently brought her iPod, "Oh my gosh, you middle class people have no respect."

Chaitnaya sighed and said,"Uh, now is not exactly the right time to listen to your iPod. We have bigger problems than the 'glamorous life'."

Rachel's only reply was,"G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S!"

A small voice managed to creep in to their conversation. "I wonder what aliens eat for breakfast? Slugs? Gloop? Fried candycorn?", the voice said, only slightly louder than a whisper. It was Jeremi, from the corner of the elevator. He was so quiet on the way up, they barely noticed that he was there.

"What?!" Gene screamed, infuriated by such a random question, "How can you think about that when we got abducted by aliens to do who- knows- what for them?!"

Jeremi shrugged his shoulders, staring at the ground.

Gene sighed again. "Why? Why did this happen to me? What did I do?! Why couldn't I just get sick instead? What did I do to deserve this? At least let me in another elevator!" he said, staring at the sarcastic boy, the painfully positive girl, the snobby, rich valley fair girl, and the boy who lived in his own little world..... a world that Gene didn't plan visiting anytime soon.

For the rest of the rather long elevator trip, four of them remained silent, aside from Rachel who was humming "Go Girl".

"Maybe they will want us to tell them a story" Jeremi said.

"Oh yeah, that's for sure, they'll ask us to tell them a bed time story." said Chaitanya sarcastically.

The elevator ride finally ended, and as they stepped out of the elevator, a strange looking creature led them down an eerie passageway. As they were being led down the hallway, all of them looking nervously around. Even Rachel switched her iPod off and swallowed her Orbit Spearmint gum. The creature. who was pale-pink and bony. It had no hair, and it's skin resembled that of a vulture's neck. Slouched, the creature was slightly shorter than the average human, and wrinkles were apparent on the entire body. But what stood out, what made the children stare, was it's face. It's cruel-looking, unforgiving face was beyond description. They all looked at the face with fear... well... all but Rachel, who was somehow immune from the alien's face. She did notice, however, the alien's nose hair.

"Wow, that dude should buy a pair of tweezers and pluck the jungle!" she disgustedly exclaimed.

There was no reply. Nobody dared to speak in the presence of the alien. At last their walk ended, and the creature showed them to a magnificent chrome gates. The gates reached to the ceiling, which stretched upwards until it was no longer distinguishable. They all stared at them, wondering what awaited them on the other side. Suddenly, the alien screeched in a strange language.

"AH qRudoNI LrESsHitA!" it gurgled.

The gates opened right after the message was done. What it revealed was a glorious hall, paved with gold a royal red velvet. They stared at the alien, and it's black eyes did not blink.

"What should we do?!" Chaitanya whispered franticly.

--

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you? It wasn't original you took the main idea from what the frame story.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? There was a good problem but there was no climax. You could add an ending to the story.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

The characters where good they where the best part of the story.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? The imagery was good and you hade good details.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? You never told the alien a story so you might need to change a lot.