HA-Chloe


**__CO-CO POPS STORY! __** From the moment you get up, look into yesterday’s bowl of coco pops and find ants forming the word UNLUCKY you know that today is not going to be a good day. The hot water is not working and you have a cold shower, all your undies are grubby and you miss the bus.   My day can officially NOT possibly get ANY worse! I am standing out the front watching the bus drive away. Then I hear a loud, dark noise, HONK! HONK! Oh no! Mrs Lut’s car pulls up beside me, she gives me an eager gesture to hop in, like she is the nicest lady in the whole world. But in fact, she is the ugliest, meanest, rudest teacher in the whole world!  I jump in and we start driving, she doesn’t say a word. “So anyway, why did you pick me up?” I just had to ask it. She glances at me, then keeps her eyes on the road.  “Well I couldn’t let you have the day off now, could I? And today is the big day that your year 8 class present your speeches on the Arctic.”She says. “Oh yeah, the speech…… about that, can I have a bit more time?”  When I ask she licks her lips as though she just had a salty chip.  “You know the rules in my Science class; everyone gets the same amount of time to do their work. It wouldn’t be fair for the others now, would it?”  “Of course not.” I know I’m in for it, a week’s detention is what we get for not doing our homework. “So I suppose you know what that means? Detention, Friday morning, DON’T BE LATE.”  She pulls up in the teachers car park, I jump out and walk over to my friends. “Hey guys,” I say, “Did any of you forget your homework?” I ask. “No, na, nup, nope,” They all have their homework, boring detention, all by myself.”  BRING, BRING. The bell goes, I am in the same form with Brian. The others are in a different form. There are roughly 2000 students at our school, it takes up about 3 whole blocks. First up we have double Maths, then after morning tea we have Geography, then offcourse Science, I will be embarrassed in front of the whole class.  We are half way through Geography and the principal calls over the loud speaker, “Charlie Brown to the office immediately” he calls, “IMMEDIATELY.” Everyone stares at me, I get up and walk to Mr Mc Gunna’s office. Tap, Tap, I quietly know on the door, I’m afraid they might expel me for not doing my Science homework.  “Come in Charlie, quickly.” He says it like there is something worrying him, I walk in and look at him. “Sit down,’ he says, “Your brother Clide is in hospital, he had a bad accident doing basketball in sport.”  “Is he ok?!” I am really worried, I didn’t think it would be anything this serious. “He is in a stable condition, but he is badly concussed.” Your mother is on her way to get you, your father is already there. So get all of your thing, she will be here soon.” He goes and opens the door, “You can wait out the front if you like, wish your brother all the best from me and the school.”I walk out of the door. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> “Thanks”, he shuts the door. I walk down into another corridor and in the room where we were having Geography. I grab my things, our teacher Ms Bufly looks at me, “I am terribly sorry to hear about your brother, wish him the best.” As she says this everyone else is giving me concerning looks, “How do you know what happened?” I ask. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> “The loud speaker was on while you were in Mr Gunna’s office, we heard the whole thing” says Ms Bufly. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> “Ok then, see you all tomorrow.” I walk out of the class room. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> When I go out to the public parking I see our car rushing towards me, for a second I think she is going to run me over. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> As I jump in I say, “Gee, Do you want two kids in hospital?!” <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> “Oh just be quiet!” she says, “We have to get to your brother. My poor little baby, I hope he’s ok.” I’m worried now because I can tell mum is really worried. “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll be fine.” I try to reassure her, I don’t think it worked though. When we arrive at the hospital we run to the front desk and ask for Clide’s room, it’s number 57, my favourite and lucky number. We stay with Clide for about an hour or two, but he is in a deep sleep the nurses said, so we decoded to go and get some lunch. Well dad and I do, mum is practically glued to his bed. The nurses say he will recover in a few weeks but he will be in hospital for two of them. Dad decided to stay the night so mum wouldn’t worry, mum and I went home at about 11pm. “So do I still have to go to school tomorrow?” I ask, I’m hoping the answer is no. “Offcourse not dearie! I don’t expect you to go to school the day after your brother had a horrible accident.” As she says it she’s nearly crying. When we get home we both go straight to bed. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> The next morning Brian rings me, “I just thought I would ring to say we are thinking of your brother, wish him all the best, cya when you come back to school.” It wasn’t exactly a long conversation, his mum probably made him ring, he isn’t the sort of person that would care for others. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> As soon as mum wakes up we go back to the hospital, dad looks horrible, so does mum. They both were probably up all night thinking about Clide, I was too. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> Tonight mum stays at the hospital, dad and I go home early because dad has some work to do. When we get home the phone is ringing, it’s Mr Gunna. He just rang to wish us all the best and to say that I get all my next classes for a week homework FREE! I was really, really happy when I git off the phone. I had nothing to do, so I rode down to the beach. It’s so beautiful down here, I wish I lived out at sea. After a couple of long weeks, Clide is better and we both have to go back to school. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> I have Science the first day back, “So, where is the speech?” Asks Ms Lut. “Um…” I say. <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"> That’s what you get when you forget your homework! <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">


 * About me:**

<span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183); font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'"> **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Pets: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">A dog named Spud, A cat named Basil, A rabbit named Prince, A guinea pig named Hammy, 2 cockatiels called Michelle and Larry, and 25 goldfish. **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Hi, my name is ****<span style="font-size: 20pt; color: rgb(95, 73, 122); line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Chloe **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Grade: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">6 **<span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183); font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Best Holiday: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">Cape Patterson **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Birth Month: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">May **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Career Goals: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">To be a doctor. **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Favorite Band(s): <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">Mika, P!nk, Panic! At the disco, The Veronicas. **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Favorite Lolly: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">Wicked Fizzes **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Favorite Food: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">Chocolate!!! **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Favorite Munchie: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">T.V Snacks **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Favorite soft drink: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">Raspberry creamy soda ****<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Favorite Subject: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">Sport  **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Hobbies/Sports: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">Sleeping, Drawing, Playing with my animals, Cooking. **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Pet Peeve: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">When people say, “I think we should have this, __but__.” **
 * <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183); font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Instead of saying “But, I think we should have this one.” **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Siblings: <span style="color: rgb(229, 184, 183)">A sister named Kylie, she is 21. A brother named Shaun, he is 20 and another brother named Zac, he is 14.

** Starting May 1st (2008): gangstadaddy 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) I liked when she jumped and drived off 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?All the yelling and all that stuff

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?when clide is in hospital add clide is in the hospital

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) I think it was very original

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? I think the problem was ok, the climax was fine, and the resolution was perfect

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? I think they are life-like,likable and enjoyable

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? yes

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? You could put an extra day before the story begins so we can get to know all the people in the story better

Saint Michael School
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not? No i wouldnt it.

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why. IT needs some work.

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories.no