sms0708-7th-02

1ST ANSWER: JANE 2ND ANSWER: KATIE 3RD ANSWER: JESSICA 4TH ANSWER: ANGELA

Grade:7th Best Vacation: LBI, Disney cruise, Disney Cruise, Disney Birth Month: February, March, November, June Career Goals: Chef, model, actress, don't know Favorite Band(s): JONAS BROTHERS and secondhand serenade, FALL OUT BOY and ALL TIME LOW!!!!, JONAS BROTHERS!, JONAS BROTHERS Favorite Candy: Reeses, anything sour, take 5, lollipops Favorite Food: pesto, salad and PB and J, tacos and mashed potatoes, macoroni Favorite Munchie: Chips and dip, cheese and pretzels, pretzels, chips Favorite Soda: Brisk, diet pepsi lime, orange soda, cream soda and rootbeer Favorite Subject:English, science, social studies, lunch Hobbies/Sports: soccer, volleyball and track, basketball, softball Pet Peeve: SPIDERS.!!!, I'm not sure...., Throw up- automatic flushers- and annoying people,BUGS Pets: UNKNOWN, dog and a cat, Diseased deceased hermit crab, puppy !!! Siblings: 2 brothers, 1 brother, 2 sisters, 2 sisters Other things you should know about me... Jane:I love MONK.! Katie: I LOVE Fall Out Boy Jessica: I am way over obsessed with the Jonas Brothers and RENT!! Angela: my favorite color is pink

first draft: What’s Going On There were four sisters who lived in New York. They all had different personalities. As most sisters do, they fought. Their names were Katie, Jane, Angela, and Jessica. Katie, being the oldest at the age of 19, tries to keep everyone in line, but doesn’t always succeed. Jane being next in line at the age of 16, is quit the dramatic one but does come in handy sometimes. Next comes Angela, who is 14 and is not exactly Einstein, if you know what I mean. Last up is Jessica, being 11 and the “ tough guy” of the house, is thought of as a demon by her sisters. One day, Jessica was walking and saw something very strange. It wasn’t a pretty site, let me tell you. It was their neighbor, Ms. Gunkel, who was usually very friendly, but was shooting squirrels. Jessica was going to say hello but didn’t want to get involved. She walked into her house when she saw Angela...READING! Jessica asked Angela “WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!” Angela answered “ Well sweetie I’m reading of course is that a problem?” Jessica hesitated “ No not at all, I just didn’t know you could read” Jessica walked upstairs when she saw Katie (the holy one) beating up Jane. To top it all off Jane (the dramatic one) was ok with it. “What is going on?!” Jessie yelled. The whole alter ego thing that was happening frazzled her. As Jessica went up to her room, she felt confused and tired so she decided to take a nap. When Jessica woke up, she thought her mind was cleared and focused. She walked into the kitchen to get a smoothie. She screamed as she opened the refrigerator as Katie’s body fell on her. “Jane! Angela! Come quick!” Katie was dead. Dead as a doornail. So dead in fact, all of her body weight plunged onto Jessica and she fell over. As soon as Jessie fell Jane and Angela ran down the stairs. Unfortunately, Angela was still reading, while she was running she ran right out the window and landed on a spiky fence. Angela then died. Jane didn’t know what to do so she grabbed the sharpest knife in the kitchen that she could fined and stabbed herself in the chest. Jessica could not comprehend what had happened. She now had to deal with three dead bodies. One lying on the sidewalk, another dead under the kitchen table, and the last on top of her. She decided to gently remove Katie’s corpse and try to collect her thought in her room. When she walked in, Katie was reading the Bible, Jane was curling her hair, and Angela was eating a taco. Jessica screamed at the top of her lungs, and squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them, she was in her bed with her sisters staring at her. “You had a bad dream, it’s okay.” Katie said calmly. Jessica leaped out of bed, and gave all of her sisters a huge hug. She realized how lucky she was to have three obnoxious, but loving sisters. They were all trying to calm each other down, when Katie looked out of the window, and saw Ms. Gunkel, hunting squirrels.

By: Jessica, Angela, Jane, and Katie

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)your story is good but you need boys.
 * Starting May 1st (2008):** candy221

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?it is the best story i have heard.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?you four are a good story teller.

4. Thinkf of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story?you could add som pichers.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?the first part need more info.you need monsters and bad guys.

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) if yau added a few more charaters.
 * Starting May 1st (2008):** google

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?it's the best story i have ever read.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?you all are good story writers.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story?you could have some pictures

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? you need to right more information.

. Joshua B - HA Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see // and //hear // and //experience // the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?