HA-Rachael

 Hello, my name is Rachael! ** **Siblings: A sister, two brothers, a mum and dad.
 * 
 * Grade:6 **
 * Best Vacation: Mount Gambier **
 * Birth Month: December **
 * Career Goals: To succeed in life **
 * Favorite Band(s): Don’t have one **
 * Favorite lolly: sherbets **
 * Favorite Food: chicken Kiev **
 * Favorite Munchie: strawberry **
 * Favoritesoft drink: lemonade **
 * Favorite Subject: sport **
 * Hobbies/Sports: netball **
 * Pet Peeve: Mum telling me to do two jobs at once **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Pets: Dog, 2 cats, 4 ducks **

Worst Day Of My Life** Can this day get any worse? First I had to eat coco pops and found ants crawling around in them. Secondly I had to have a cold shower and found my undies were all grubby. Thirdly I missed the school bus.

I finally got to school and my teacher Mr Grumpy wasn’t too impressed with me. He said that I had to stay inside at recess or I would have a week’s detention. At recess Mr Grumpy made me write 100 sentences, all saying I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I wondered why I couldn’t have a normal day like every one else. Third period we had library, I hate library, to me library is like a piece of rubbish.

Fourth period we had sport. In sport we had to run laps for the whole period. I fell over and scraped my knee. I had to sit in the office for the rest of the period. The last two periods we had maths. We had to sit in the classroom and do incredibly hard worksheets.

Finally, it was home time. I was called to the office, I hate going to the office, then I found out I had to go to Aunt Susie’s. Aunt Susie is the horriblest Aunt ever. When I got there, She made me wash the dishes and clean the house and make it spotless. Aunt Susie put her feet up and relaxed while having a mug of hot chocolate while I had to work really hard.

When I finally got home mum gave me a gig hug. “What was that for?” I asked. Mum smiled “You looked like you could do with a hug," she said.  Then dad came in, looked at me, smiled and scruffed my hair.    “How’s my princess?” he asked. So my really, horrible, very bad day was going to have a happy ending after all, maybe it was worth it.

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) Yes the plot is very original.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? yes this story holds our interest. There wasn't really a climax but the story still good. You should add a climax and a little more about your day.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? the characters are very life-like but there isn't a really good description of the main character.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? I can sort of hear and experience the story because the situation is life like.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? The middle of the story needs a bit more improvement and i suggest that you add a little more to your ending.

Saint Michael School
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not? I would let her live because the story was VERY interesting! 2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why. I would hope it would be in a book store. 3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories. Yes.