peter

Grade:7 Best Vacation: went to glen ewen Birth Month: july Career Goals: to be in the M.L.B Favorite Band(s):Greenday&nickleback Favorite Candy:Gum &chocolate Favorite Food: French fries(home made) Favorite Munchie: all munchies Favorite Soda: coca cola Favorite Subject:gym Hobbies/Sports: all Pet Peeve:when people chew with there mouth open Pets: 1dog 3 cats Siblings:3 Other things you should know about me...

Halloween

Once on October 31st my employer david harper from manitoba sent me to Canada to see what Halloween is all about. So when I got to Canada I went to a house by where I landed and knocked on the door. I asked the ladywith dak brown hair and blue eyes what Halloween is about in Canada. She said Halloween is about when little kids come to our houses and collect candy. So my next question is how did it become Halloween. It started with ancient celtic people when they carved pumpkins to ward off evil spirits. My next question is do you guys always decorate your houses like this? Yes, it is because we like to have fun with our kids and decorate our yards. So what is this big black creepy think in the middle of your yard? It is a spider? What's a spider I never saw one of those in my country. Oh, really, Ya, it is it. Just let's spend time with our family. So do little kids always dress up like that in costumes they're wearing? Ya, the costumes that they're wearing are traditional Halloween costumes like ghosts, witiches, goblins and monsters that might have been around on All Hallows Eve. Sometimes at night people think they see ghosts coming out.

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) We had no clue what was happening in this story. We actually could not follow it. It was confusing. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? We really couldn't understand anything at all in this story. Sometimes, you write in first, second, or third person all in the same sentence!!! The punctuation and spelling were extremely hard to understand. Splitting things into paragraphs would help a little more.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? There weren't many characters in this story. You were talking about a 6 year old boy and then his dad and then the boy again, all in one sentence. Also, when there are people talking, you need to put quotes around the dioalouge.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? You didn't really describe things that well. You need to put it into more detail and have more adjectives. We weren't able to experience the story because you didn't put it into any detail.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? There is room for improvement throughout the whole dioalouge.

Saint Michael School
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not?

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why.

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories.