chickeepoo

Grade:7 Best Vacation:A couple years ago when I went to Miniapls Birth Month:August Career Goals:A designer Favorite Band(s):Don't have one Favorite Candy:. Favorite Food: Favorite Munchie: Favorite Soda:Ice tea Favorite Subject: Hobbies/Sports:Ringette Pet Peeve: Pets:Dog Siblings:A brother and a sister Other things you should know about me... .........

=**My Night**=

My night started off good! I was ask to babysit this cute little baby girl her name is Lizabeth and this boy who seemed like he would want to make a big mess but in stead he takes care off his little sister. My name is Amanda its my first time every babysitting these kids but I heard they were good so I was excited. Its Friday 13th but I don't believe anything really different happens on Friday 13th.I'm really happy that I am babysitting these kids. When I pulled up to there house. Holy this house is bigger then I ever imaged it would be. When I got there I knocked on the door when it opened it made a creak and when the door opened so I could see the people there was a tall skinny man with creepy fingers. I said,"I I'm Amanda her to babysit your kids" he said'"Just come in and hurry I got to go". The wired thing is on top of there door on there roof is a big statue and it is really freaky. I went in and meet the kids but the baby was asleep and the little boy was holding the baby sleeping. When the butler was leaving he came up to me and he mumbled something I asked him what but the parents just pulled him out and they said she'll figure out whatever she needs to know lets go where going to be late. I think he said something about the night fall when its dark watch your steps before you fall...But I wasn't the one to really to the rimes and riddles. When they left I went to go pick up the baby and put her in her pen. Then and there the little boy opened his eyes like a crazy person. He told me to back off so I did and I just sat down and waited. After awhile they finally got up. I started talking to the little boy after awhile he started talking back to me to. Every time Lizabeth laugh see has all these pointy teeth in her mouth. I looked up at the time and it was 11:30 its almost midnight and Mr and Miss.Lova were coming back at 1:00 so theres lots more time till they come back. This place is starting to get scary I am hearing foot steps behind me and I look and no one is there and I hear a creeping door and sounds from upstairs. I told the kids that I am going upstairs but when I did it was scary the halls looked like they lead to no were they were dark and no lights or switches but a light turns on one door opens after another then I ask,"is anyone there?," all the doors slam I see this figure coming to words me. I turn around run down stairs the kids are laying not moving I scream the kids look up at me I tell them to run to the door I look behind me I trip down the stairs I scream again. The figure is coming down the stairs I look behind it theres more. The kids tried to open the door they couldn't someone locked it. The time is 12:01 you see these figures coming closer to you I ran to Matt and Lizabeth theres a window Matt yells ",WHATS GOING ON" the little baby just sitting there laughing its happing its happing! I open the window I help Matt out I try to get Lizabeth to go outside WOW! She bit me when I look i'm bleeding two little dots on my hand Lizabith laughs. I hear a screaming I look out at Matt the statue is standing behind him alive. I was so scared I pulled him back in and closed the window I yell and sceam. The figures are still coming closer then Lizabeth yells stop! Lizabethlooks up at the time and she sees a bright light. The parents are home I look up at the time and its 1:05 everything stops the figures go back but I hear them say ill be back for you... I look out of the window and the statue is back were it should be. But the house its a mess the parents open the door look around and ask Lizabeth if it happened again. I'm tarafid not knowing what to say. They look up and say we must stuff her in the closet she cant tell anyone about this I just stay laying on the ground. You can hear sirens then a knock on the door they open it up and its a police man about five of them and they ask if there are any problems they say no no every things fine I yell HELP and the Lova covers my mouth. The police man ask if they can take a look around. I wonder to myself what will happen if I should yell help or just stay put.... What will happen next....

smsgroup01 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) yes it's original 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? the suspense was good, the climax satisfies us and it's perfect the way it is 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? yes 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? middle hawaiiangirl 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?

Hawaiiangirl . Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) yes 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? the problems that the charcter faced were good.Yes their interest.Yes,yes.I would not change or add any thing. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? the carter seem life like to me.I think they are.yes we get a good sense the character description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion.  4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see // and //hear // and //experience // the story? yes they do. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? nothing really.

Saint Michael School
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not? 2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why.
 * Yes! I would let the story-teller live another day. Why because it would make the story more interesting**
 * The thing that I liked about it was that Amanda didn't know what was going to hit her.**

Yes**
 * 3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories.

