HA-Georgia

 Siblings: A brother, a sister, Mum and Dad **
 * Hi, my name is Georgia **
 * Grade: 6 **
 * Best Holiday: Canberra **
 * Birth Month: August **
 * Career Goals: To see succeed in life **
 * Favourite Band(s): Mika **
 * Favourite Lolly: Mars Bars **
 * Favourite Food: Chinese food **
 * Favourite Munchie: Honey soy chicken chips **
 * Favourite soft drink: Sprite **
 * Favourite Subject: Sport **
 * Hobbies/Sports: Netball **
 * Pet Peeve: Parents telling you to do 2 things at the one time **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'">Pets: Walter (goat), Locky (cockatiel)

__**The Jam**__
“Could you please turn down the music” I asked politely to Kate. Kate’s a **P** plate driver and she still drive only at 60 KPH in a 100 KPH area. She said her Dad will take her licence off her if she crashes the car. She’s already crashed it about, hmmmmnn, four billion times. Kate’s got a doctor’s appointment in an hour. We’re nearly in Melbourne. “Oh, no!” I heard Kate scream. “What?” I answered. “Look” she said. I looked to where the end of her finger was pointing at. Ahead, there were two cars piled on top of each other. The car windows were smashed. There was glass scattered all over the road. We stopped the car and rang 000. They all said they were going to be a while so we went and tried to help the injured drivers. One driver had blood dripping down his face. I could see his bones. I threw the banana which was in my hand away with the reaction time of 0.01 secs. One of the drivers could barely talk but he slipped the words “My name is John” out his bleeding mouth. I could hear the sirens in the distance. The noise was coming over the hill. Eventually small dots appeared that were turning into a shape of a car coming over the hill. The sirens were getting louder and louder by the second. There were cars jammed all behind us. The police arrived so we tried to leave. There was no way out. There was only a little gap between the road and the accident. It was like a microscopic hole. We slid the car through the hole. All we got was a couple of scratches, and the fright of our life. I turned and looked at my watch. “Golly Gosh!” We’re supposed to be at the doctors basically NOW! After we escaped the traffic we sped like a Cheetah chasing its prey. We saw the doctor’s building and raced inside. The second we got in there we heard the doctor call “Kate”.
 * __THE END__**

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) The plot seems original and is interesting in some respects. SMS Group11

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? Yes the complications are sufficient and add tension and interest. No there really wasn't any turning point in this story. No the resoultion is not satisfying. SMS Group11

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? Yes they are life-like. SMS Group11

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? There where to many gory details in the story that where not nessesary.SMS Group11

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? A little on the end.SMS Group11

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)
 * Starting May 1st (2008):** butter

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement?

Saint Michael School
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not? yes because the way the story was written was very good. keep up the good work!!!!! 2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why. to be honest i liked this story very much i liked the whole thing. 3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories. yes because there was not any mistake in the story but it was very interesting.

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