HA-Kirsten

All About Me **Pets: 1 cat, 6 dogs, 1050 Sheep**
 * Hi, my name is Kirsten **
 * Grade: 6 **
 * Best Holiday: Queensland **
 * Birth Month: April **
 * Career Goals: to be a famous runner **
 * Favourite Band(s): Mika **
 * Favourite Lolly: Wizz Fizz **
 * Favourite Food: Fish And Chips **
 * Favourite Munchie: Chocolate **
 * Favourite soft drink: Coke **
 * Favourite Subject: Sport **
 * Hobbies/Sports: Netball, Running, Singing **
 * Pet Peeve: Clicking the Top of Pens **

The Haunted House. Bang! “What was that?” Maddie screamed when we went into the haunted house next door to our house. “It was probably a cat or something like a huge ghost.” Laura teased. Meanwhile back at Laura’s house her mum was looking everywhere for them both. She couldn’t find them anywhere so she rang Laura’s phone but Laura didn’t pick up the call. She kept on trying but Laura wouldn’t pick it up. At the haunted house Laura wasn’t picking up her phone because an old man had came out of a cupboard behind them and taped them on the shoulder with his index finger and scared them half to death. Laura couldn’t get her phone out quick enough to cal her mother. “Mum you have to come to the haunted house next door and get us out of here now.” She screamed. “Why.” Her mum said. “Because an old man came out of a cupboard and scared us half to death.” She whispered. “I’m coming to pick you up right now meet me out the front.” Her mum said. Maddie and Laura ran out the front as quickly as the could. Laura’s mum was out the front waiting. They went back to Laura’s house and went to bed. The End

**Starting May 1st (2008):** google 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) - The plot was original but wasn't that suspenseful.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? - There was not a lot of suspense, we think that the story could be a little more suspenseful. =]

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? - The characters were definitely life like, there is somewhat of a description of the characters but there could be more, we did get that much information.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? - The bang in the beginning was loud, but everything else needs a little more detail, emotion, and a tad more thought, but it was unique and somewhat exciting. =]

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? - The climax.

Saint Michael School
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not? no 2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why. The story was lacking 3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories. not a hall of fame